Regret

the feeling you feel when you've just done something you wish you haven't. you would give anything just to turn back the hands of time and correct your mistakes, but it's already too late.
"I really regret hurting the woman that I love."
"I have many regrets in life, but you were not one of them."

taken from www.urbandictionary.com

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Cure

I sighed, watching as wisps of vapour left my mouth, just like how part of my soul was torn away as you left me. Kneeling on, and repeatedly punching the thick layer of ice on the lake as if it could bring you back, I realized yet again how cruel this world is.

I can still remember that fateful day, when I walked out onto the streets, my already numb fingers cradling a small loaf of bread I managed to negotiate from the kind baker. Gently inhaling the sweet scent, afraid that too strong a whiff would deform the bread in any way, I looked up and saw a silhouette crouching beside a bench. Stiffly, forcing my frozen joints to move, I saw -through the snow- a pale young maiden, thinly clad in clothes thrice her size, hugging herself as she was muttering praises to the Lord, and thanking Him for all the blessings that had come and also for those that were yet to come.

I pitied her from the depths of my hearts. I really did. With a petite body like hers, it was already a miracle that she was still alive in this snowstorm that had been raging for the past few days. Steeling myself, I tried to move away before we made eye contact but I was too late. The moment she looked up at me, I felt as if the snowstorm had been brutally shoved away by the warmth that you possess in your heart. I could not take my eyes off your gaze. They conveyed a message of unwavering determination yet stubbornly holding on to what little trace of innocence you had left due to age. Yes, it was you. Without me knowing, I had already took off the only overcoat I had with me and draped you with it. I had put the bread which I cherished so dearly in your fragile hands and picked you up. Your body was so light, I was worried that I might break you as I held you close, trying to use what little body heat I had left to try and lessen your suffering.

Running through the thick snow, I unknowingly glanced down and saw your rosy red lips rise slightly. Weird as it seemed, my lips too, started to curve upwards in tandem with yours. Little did I know that you had already taken up an irreplaceable space in my heart.

I ran and ran until I ran out of breath, but I still kept running. It was crucial that I got you to somewhere warmer. A place that we can rest. I turned into the back-alley of a restaurant. With my back to the fume chutes releasing exhaust smoke, I could feel the heat directly. It was scorching hot, as if my back was being roasted or grilled. Still, I stood there. Some warmth managed to go around me and settle those trembling fingers of yours. You looked up at me with your cute face and, for the first time, smiled your fullest. Tears were streaming down my cheeks and from my heart, a myriad of emotions cascaded into my brain. For the first time since as long as I could remember, I felt a tinge of warmth spreading from my heart throughout my body.

And then you slumped into me.

My mind could not accept what had happened. One moment you were smiling from ear to ear and the next, you were limp. I held you closer, hoping that it would just be a temporary episode but I could not feel your warmth any more, nor could I feel your heartbeat. I was screaming but my ears already blocked out the sound. Workers from the restaurant came out to chase me away with knives and rollers. I had to run again. I had no choice. I slipped and fell, and you fell out of my arms, into the icy cold lake.

Some delinquent had previously made a hole in the lake and you fell right through. I wanted to fish you out but the layer of ice between you and me was already too thick. I could only watch as you sank to the bottom.


______________________


Some eight years later, I came back to this very spot. The snowstorm had been raging for eight years and the town was already abandoned. I am now a world renowned scientist researching the revival of humans frozen in ice. I had developed a special procedure which made it all possible.

Now, I am at the same spot where you fell down. Signalling to my team to start excavating, I prayed to the same Lord you so feverishly praised and begged for forgiveness. I also asked that He would be so kind as to have preserved your internal organs and bodily functions until this day so I could finally be reunited with you again.

"Sir, the target has been located at 300m below the surface, firmly encased in ice. We shall now commence the excavation and the predicted length of time needed is approximately 3 hours."

I nodded but could not leave the site. For three whole hours I stood there silently, watching as they slowly and steadily took you out of the cavity, and there you were, looking as you did so many years ago. I could not suppress my excitement as I led my team to start the procedure.

You looked so beautiful, encased in ice. Just like an Ice Princess. Shining and glimmering in all your glory and power.

"Sir, everything has been prepared. The antidote has been injected and the cells are confirmed to have reawakened."

I deftly pushed the buttons of the machine I was piloting and aimed the laser at the ice. Bit by bit, the ice melted to reveal you. When enough of the ice had melted, several more injections were given to you to help boost your vitality, immunity and all sorts of other things but nothing else mattered. All I wanted to see was you coming back to life.

As if an eternity had passed until finally, your eyelids fluttered open and you looked up at me, the same way you did so many years ago and you smiled. The same smile that brought warmth to my world again. I held you close to me and vowed to myself that this time, I will look after you as best I can, for I love you, my princess.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Singles

Another day another night
Another night another dream...

Dreams of loss and despair
Dreams of you and me
Dreams of lust and desire

Get out

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Love x Hate


I used to tell myself, you were angel that came from heaven. I still do.
I used to tell myself, I wanted only the best for you. I still do.
I used to tell myself, you were all that I needed. I still do.
I used to tell myself, your smile could light up my day. I still do.
I used to tell myself, I couldn't live without you. I still do.
I used to tell myself, I could look at you all day. I still do.
I used to tell myself, I love you. I still do.
I used to tell myself many more things about you. I still do.

For each day that passes, I feel a part of myself breaking away from me.
I love you. You have him. He loves you. I stay behind.
You know. You don't care.

I tell myself to hate you over and over again. I cannot.
I tell myself to forget you over and over again. I cannot.

I ask myself, Do I love you?
I squirm my eyes,
I listen intently,
and a whisper deep within my heart resonates...
I do...

Good night.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Heartbroken - Quiz

Are you heartbroken?
Created By : lastdream


1. You know that your ex is missing out on you. Disagree Agree
2. You feel betrayed by them and can barely stand to think of them. Disagree Agree
3. When they said goodbye you thought about suicide. Disagree Agree
4. You stop talking to your friends just to see your ex pass by. Disagree Agree
5. When you them you laugh in their face. Disagree Agree
6. You cried a little but now your doing better. Disagree Agree
7. You follow them around constantly. Disagree Agree
8. Your heart hurts because of all the pain the break up cause it. Disagree Agree
9. When they asked you to break up you smiled and agreed before running off with your friends. Disagree Agree
10. People thought you might be cheating when you were dating your ex. Disagree Agree
11. You hate the fact that after everything you went through they still left you. Disagree Agree
12. You started a few bad habits that harmed your self. Disagree Agree
13. You flirt with people but your not ready to try again. Disagree Agree
14. You have to keep your head lowered to make sure you don't cry in front of them. Disagree Agree
15. You want to forget everything about them because it hurts to remember. Disagree Agree
16. You like to go clubbing and dance with everyone in sight. Disagree Agree
17. You cursed them to hell when they broke it off. Disagree Agree
18. You've had the urge to throw up everytime you see your ex making out with someone else. Disagree Agree
19. You laugh and pretend nothing happened. Disagree Agree
20. Your catious around people but not completely paranoid. Disagree Agree
21. You kissed them and begged them not to go. Disagree Agree
22. You turn down everyone else hoping that they'd come back. Disagree Agree
23. You flirt and date everyone that asks you. Disagree Agree
24. You often stare out into space only to relize that you were crying because of what your ex did. Disagree Agree
25. Your sleeping hasn't been as good as it use to but you can get to sleep. Disagree Agree
26. You started getting violent towards people to drive them away. Disagree Agree
27. You cried day and night after they were gone. Disagree Agree
28. You cried but relized it was their fault that your hurting. Disagree Agree
29. You get pissed off everytime you see their face. Disagree Agree
30. You act quite sometimes but contiune to smile. Disagree Agree
31. You started becoming depressed. Disagree Agree
32. You try to keep your tears in check everytime they pass by. Disagree Agree
33. You have been found beging your ex to take you back. Disagree Agree
34. You constantly try to figure out what you did wrong. Disagree Agree
35. You glare at the new person your ex is drooling over. Disagree Agree
36. You find yourself asking why did you do this to me. Disagree Agree

taken from www.quizfarm.com